Managing stress?

"BaconSandwich is tasty." (baconsandwich) 01/13/2016 at 11:02 • Filed to: None

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I’m curious - what do you folks do to manage your stress?

The last month or two, I’ve been finding myself very stressed out. I’ve been waking up in the morning with a dry mouth and sore jaw, and I’m sure I’ve been grinding my teeth at night. As near as I can figure, it’s mostly work related. I recently accepted a position in management, and with it seems to come even more stress. I don’t want to bring that stress home to my wife, so I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to not be stressed at home. Christmas was a nice break, but since then it’s been right back.

Do you guys/gals have any tips for managing stress? Know of any good books/articles on the subject? I’m all ears.

TheHondaBro > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:05

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Punching a pillow.

Petting my cat.

Fishing. (Some call me a “master” at “baiting” my hook)

Video games.

djmt1 > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:06

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I do nothing for an hour with this running in the background.

SkyNet > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:11

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Lift weights. Run.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:12

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I’m not being cheeky here. Also a bit of a stressed out guy.

Here’s what helps me.

- sex

- stopping whatever I’m doing, and think about what I can control rather than cannot

- deep breaths

- Reminding myself that life is not ending when something goes wrong

If it’s really bad, I will actually sit down and remember everything I have to be grateful for, and reiterate my goals, be they short term or long term.

Ash78, voting early and often > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:16

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I’m in the same boat — I’m a manager with no people, but way too many multi-million dollar tasks and very few people cross-checking what I do.

1. Ask “Will this matter in 5 years?”

2. Prayer; or at least a few minutes of total isolation

3. Hard exercise every day, even if it’s just 10 minutes

4. If it’s truly somatic, then BENZODIAZEPENES.

All three of those and you’ll be superhuman.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > TheHondaBro 01/13/2016 at 11:16

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Read that as "Petting my pillow, Punching my cat"

Nibbles > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:17

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What I do for stress management (in no particular order):

Video games
Wrench a little on the project car
Fire up the smoker and watch the meat slowly cook
My wife
Listen to my “angry music”

CalzoneGolem > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:20

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I like to listen to music containing inappropriate words at an inappropriate volume.

Aaron M - MasoFiST > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:20

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Exercise.

When I have opportunities to burn off excess energy and get my blood pumping, I’m a much more even person. I bike 3-5 times a week, but even a daily walk helps to take the edge off.

Matt Nichelson > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:20

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I know how you feel. I will say this. Never. EVER. Become a claims adjuster. I’ve decided this place will be the death of me if I don’t find somewhere else soon.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:21

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Video games - it’s nice to step outside of reality for a bit and focus completely on something different. Normally I’m a bit stressed after getting home and games really help. You can either do something immersive like Fallout (although this has a danger of pulling you away from life too much) or stick with something simple. Maybe something more casual like Rocket League or Absolute Drift which can probably be played on most PCs. Heck, if you have a bit of extra cash, look for a used Wii or Wii U and get some Mario games - these games are so bright and cheerful, simple enough to pick up anytime without having to spend countless hours trying to “master” something.

In a similar vein, find something else to focus on if gaming isn’t your thing; I find cooking clears my mind just because I don’t want to fuck up my meal, or ruin my hands from not paying attention to my knife work. Reading works for some, but not for me since I find I get easily distracted by other things when reading.

Finally, I found that a good workout always helps - there’s something about pushing around weights that relieves pent-up frustration, and if you go to a nice gym, there’s probably a sauna/hot-tub to relax in post-workout. You leave feeling refreshed and probably too tired to stress out about anything.

I had jaw problems when I was in school but they’ve largely subsided now that I’m reasonably content with my life situation; these things did help during that time, but sometimes it is something in life that needs to be addressed, too. I prefer work over school because I make it a point to cut off work outside of my designated hours - this may not always be possible being in management but I think it’s probably best that you set strict guidelines for when you work and when you get your own time.

spanfucker retire bitch > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:30

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Video games. Go play Just Cause 3 and see how good that is working out stress and aggression.

Justin Hughes > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/13/2016 at 11:30

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After a lousy commute I love to sit down with GTA V and do all those things that I want to do to lousy drivers in real life but can’t because of laws and morality and such.

Tripper > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:31

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Yoga. We have it at work for free, which is how I got into it. I still go at work, but I go in the mornings before work at another place as well.

SkyNet > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:31

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Sorry for the repost. It wouldn’t let me edit.

Lift weights. Run. Box.

I have an extremely stressful job (Investment Banker) and I’ve found that another really good way to manage the stress is boxing. I try to do quick (20-30min) but intense work outs on the heavy bag, speed bag, and jumping rope. The heavy bag is great for releasing anger/rage that inevitably builds up alongside stress. The speed bag is great because you get lost in the rhythm of the bag giving it a similar impact as meditation. Jumping rope is good similarly to the speed bag.

All of the above also provide a nice mix of cardio and strength. You’ll be amazed how sore you are in muscles you didn’t even know existed after a brief boxing workout.

Good luck. Stress is brutal thing to deal with and the key is to get ahead of it. Once you fall into a spiral of anger and depression or try to “work your way” out of the stress, it’s too late, you are screwed. Also, try to work out before work, not after. That way you start the day fresh and you are more likely to go because work hasn’t piled up yet.

SkyNet > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/13/2016 at 11:35

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Completely agree with this. Video games are a great escape because you shut your mind off work for a while. I try to do 20 minutes a night.

But don’t play Fifa with your asshole friends from college. That is even more stressful

fennelbreath > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:36

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A hard workout at the gym — easy workouts don’t do a thing for me.

Sauna.

Taking public transportation to work in winter.

Riding my scooter to work in summer.

Paddle boarding.

Drinking.

Drinking while paddle boarding.

This is all fit in between a 40-hour desk job and 25+ hours of freelance writing and editing.

sebdel > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:40

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On my way home I usually listen some upbeat dancing music at full volume, or some funny radio talk show or podcast, that relaxes me before getting home to take care of my 0,3 year old.

My wife has a more stressful job than me, a psychologist recommended the use of earplugs at home after work (while doing stuff like cooking or cleaning). I tried that and it really works for me. the psychologist also recommended relaxing music to sleep, but we don’t like that. Finally there’s the thing to sleep where you close your eyes, picture yourself in some place you like and start counting down from 10 to 0. That doesn’t work for me at all, but it really helps her.

Exercise really helps, either before work or before sleeping time,but I’m just too lazy.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Justin Hughes 01/13/2016 at 11:42

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Yeah, it really would be something else if after work I could simply take the Cayman that someone in this building drives daily, do a couple of drive bys, run over a couple of pedestrians I don't like the look of, hit a few jumps and leave the flame wreckage on the street near my home. Then do it all again the next day.

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:42

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Hop on the car, drive out to a vacant open road, GUN IT! That kills any stress.

CKeffer > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:45

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It depends on the level of stress but a few things I do are:

1. Sit on my back porch with a glass of bourbon or scotch, a fire in my firepit, and some classic jazz on

2. Spend time at the shooting range, it’s honestly amazing how cathartic punching holes in paper people or exploding clay pigeons can really be

3. Video games, spending time playing Granturismo tweaking suspension settings is kind of a zen thing for me, and FPS games are similar to spending time at the range, though not quite as effective.

4. Massage therapy, when stress has built up a lot and is starting to cause tension headaches and such, this works wonders.

5. Vacations, your employer gives to time off, use it! A change of scenery and taking a step back from the office can really help you decompress and get your head back on straight.

Now, as for things you can do at work start with setting realistic goals, managing your expectations of yourself, and saying NO sometimes. While a “can do”attitude is great, and something employers love, taking on everything everyone throws at you to the point where you are unable to actually accomplish anything just pisses everyone off.

ttyymmnn > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:46

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I had some serious stress a few years ago when my kids were younger. I was also having high BP issues. My doctor prescribed Xanax, but I didn’t take it. At that time, the best thing for me was exercise. It’s easier, since I’m a stay-home dad, but I found that I felt much better after a 10-mile bike ride or some strenuous work in the yard. Having a sense of completion for getting a job done helped.

Back in grad school, I worked at Kinko’s. I was the evening production manager, and our night shift sucked. So I took it upon myself to get as much done as possible every night before I left. I would then sit up late drinking, and would have “Kinko’s insomnia” where I dreamt of unfinished work. I finally came to the realization that if the night shift wasn’t getting the work done it wasn’t my problem, it was management’s. So I did what I could reasonably do and left the rest. My stress disappeared.

I would not recommend drugs (prescription or otherwise) or alcohol as a stress reducer. The potential problems of addiction, not to mention the affects on your body, outweigh the short term benefits. Understand that you can only do what you can do on a day to day basis. Make a ritual out of shutting your computer off at the end of the day, cleaning up your desk, and leaving work. The ritual will help you leave work at work so you can look forward to being home. Don’t use a computer or smart phone right before bed. That only stimulates your brain and prevents sleep. Find a hobby you can dedicate yourself to. Delegate where possible at work. Above all, remember that you aren’t the only one at work. There are others who should be working too. You can’t do it all yourself, nor should you try. Make lists and check things off one at a time. If you look at ALL the things you have to do, it can be overwhelming. Solve one problem at a time. Take cigarette breaks even if you don’t smoke. It always chapped me how smokers got breaks every hour while I was still working.

Good luck. Stress can literally kill you.

Tim > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:47

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Ride my bike to exhaustion. Every few days if I haven’t ridden or hiked my wife will say, GO FOR A RIDE. That means I’ve waited too long.

A combination of the solitude, fresh air (even if it’s 30F or 110F), seems to put the world back into perspective. Also, I can think all sorts of angry thoughts about whatever is pissing me off and it just makes me ride faster.

hiking, riding a motorcycle or running works, I just hate running.

Needmoargarage > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:49

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I find that as much as I enjoy playing video games or watching TV, it really doesn’t relieve stress for me; I’m just able to forget about it temporarily but it comes right back. I have to do something that makes me feel productive, besides normal work. I try to spend a little time wrenching on a no deadline project car and that seems to help.

Another big thing for me is planning out meals, being prepared for the next day, etc. but I’m a little crazy like that. And though I almost never feel motivated to exercise, it always helps.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > SkyNet 01/13/2016 at 11:49

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I’m off sports games completely. I used to play the NHL series a lot but it got incredibly frustrating. That and the fact that it gets old - there's always a few tweaks and a new veneer on a game that doesn't fundamentally change.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/13/2016 at 11:49

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That sounds like some pretty decent advice. Since we moved office, I haven’t been getting as much exercise (I used to walk to/from the office every day). As for video games, it might be a bit tricky, as I’m also married and have a one year old. Thankfully my wife knows that I need a bit of time to unwind after getting home, so she might be fine with that. Right now I read Oppo or other online stuff to help me unwind.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/13/2016 at 11:51

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I think part of me is recognizing that I’m getting stressed. Even times during the day, I’ll notice that my jaw is tensed up. I’ll consciously relax it, and it seems to help. Perhaps I need to do that more often.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > SkyNet 01/13/2016 at 11:52

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Hmm, that’s not a bad idea - going for some morning exercise. I’m usually up earlier, so I should be able to find the time to do that, even if it’s a quick 10 minute run on the treadmill.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 11:54

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Racing games are fantastic - trying to nail apexes along with proper entry/exit speeds can be very gratifying. These days, Xbox 360s with Forza 4 can be picked up dirt cheap, and if you can get your hands on the 360 steering wheel, it’s easy to cut out everything else in life for a quick race around the great selection of tracks. I always like doing Sonoma/Infineon in a superlight car (like A-class Lotus or a tuned classic, like my 3.0 CSL or 2002 tii) and then getting the beastly cars out for the Circuit de la Sarthe, maybe even in the classic config if I’m racing one of the old prototypes.

I think this would be right up your alley because Forza 4 races are quick, 3-lap affairs (unless you’re doing a Le Mans simulation, but that can even be cut down to 12/24 minutes, I believe). When you’re trying to do a perfect lap of any track, it’s interesting how much focus it takes - nothing else really matters for those few laps.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Needmoargarage 01/13/2016 at 12:02

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One of the no-deadline projects I’ve been working on lately is building a new dining room table (and in the process, learning to weld). It has been nice to take my mind off things and do some work with my hands. I really should try to do some more of that.

BloodlessWeevil > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:03

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I find that if I try to relax and don’t really do anything, I just end up worrying about all the things that caused the stress to begin with. If you are like that too, find a hobby or pastime that takes concentration and focus.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Ash78, voting early and often 01/13/2016 at 12:05

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A manager with no people - that’d be rough! Thankfully I’ve got a rockstar on my team, a reasonably new (to the team) developer, two co-op work experience guys, and another one who is slowly transitioning to my team, which has been great. Training the new guys is taking a little bit, but they seem pretty quick and eager. Perhaps part of what I’m having to learn is how to delegate things, and know that they will get done.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Nibbles 01/13/2016 at 12:06

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Rather than angry music, I love listening to the ambient track from the Skyrim soundtrack. When I had roommates, I’d put my earbud headphones on when falling asleep to it. It’s been far too long since I’ve listened to it...

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Matt Nichelson 01/13/2016 at 12:06

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It’s almost a bit of a shame that we don’t have an Oppo job board. I know there’s a few more opportunities with the company I’m at (not claims related).

BaconSandwich is tasty. > fennelbreath 01/13/2016 at 12:08

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One thing I’ve learned is that effective people get stuff done because they have learned to be effective. At one point I was working 40+ hours, had a new baby, and also taught a class at the university two days a week. On top of all that, I was still doing my own little programming projects in the background.

Ash78, voting early and often > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:11

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All the people I’ve trained and developed are making amazing contributions, but they’ve all been moved around and have never actually been “under” me officially. I do very specific/esoteric work and there’s nothing in the budget for me to hire anyone. We’re too lean.

So it’s good job security, but I have to do everything from vision to execution to development to reporting to explanation to documentation/defense. It’s nuts.

fennelbreath > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:14

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I’ve learned through trial and error that the more I do, the easier it is to stay motivated. Typing out that sentence made me realize that sticking to my routine also helps me manage stress because there are fewer decisions to make.

Needmoargarage > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:14

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It’s way harder to get up the motivation to do something like that after a day’s work, but I never regret it when I do.

Azrek > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:16

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Variety of things...

1. Gym. I will hit a spin class, boxing class (Where I punch things or people not cardio), or run stairs.

2. Video games...but games I am really good at as if I play one I suck at I only get madder. So BF4 with my friends/clanmates.

3. Goto the bar and do anything but talk about work. Talk about sports, the lottery or books/movies.

But if you are grinding your teeth, I’d recommend going to CVS and getting one of the small tooth protectors. I wear one on occasion as I do that as well. It helps. Costs like $30. I didn’t get the boiled ones, those suck.

RallyWrench > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:18

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I manage a business as well, I feel your pain. Doesn’t help that I sleep about 4 hours a night due to small children and work/world stress keeping my brain on. I used to drink way too much beer, but quit during the week because I knew it. I’m still super stressed out, but try to manage it by listening to music when I can, and riding my mountain bike. Doesn’t happen often enough though.

RallyWrench > CKeffer 01/13/2016 at 12:19

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3. Video games, spending time playing Granturismo tweaking suspension settings is kind of a zen thing for me.

Glad I’m not the only one. I could buy, build, setup, and test cars for hours, never actually completing any races.

CKeffer > RallyWrench 01/13/2016 at 12:28

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Yup, I spend way more time playing around with suspension, brake balance, and that sort of thing than I actually do in the races. Always looking for those extra tenths and to see just how neutral I can get the balance.

Shane MacGowan's Teeth > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:31

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Chasaboo > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:32

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1 small glass of Port. Does the trick every time.

Funktheduck > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:43

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I have several strategies.

My first is to not get stressed in the first place. That sounds like a smart ass answer but let me explain.

Identify what you can and cannot control. This isn’t always clear cut and sometimes people may accuse you of being uncaring at times but once you learn you can’t fix/control/help all situations or people you’ll feel better.

Cut stressful people out of your life. This one can can be hard, especially if you’re related. These people always have problems that are someone else’s fault: money, relationships, jobs, etc. these issues are 99/100 their doing either consciously or subconsciously out of their need/desire for drama. You don’t need it in your life and they need to grow up.

Those two steps above will cut out most stress in your life leaving more cap space for the unavoidable stress.

For the unavoidable:

I’ve been in your exact position. With my current career I lost sleep, got headaches, constantly went over things to make sure I wasn’t screwing up, etc. That all went away once I got comfortable in my managing duties and things became second nature. Repeat cycle when I bought the business.

How did I deal with it? In part it wasn’t as bad because I wasn’t worrying about everything else because of steps one and two. I could focus on the main issue at hand.

To relax/decompress I did things not work related that took a lot of focus so I couldn't think about work. I played a lot of call of duty because I would try so hard to get a good kill/death ratio I couldn't focus on other things. I'd play with my dogs. For a while I built pinewood derby cars. No power tools meant a lot of sanding and shaping. They all looked fairly crappy in the end but the sanding and painting helped.

Textured Soy Protein > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:48

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Really the biggest thing I do is to make sure I take a minute and soak in the calmness where I can. I spend all day in my windowless office with shitty fluorescent lighting and people bugging me about crap I don’t want to deal with (but I’ll be starting a new job Feb 1 woohoo!!!!), and then there’s always some errand or household task to do, and then I gotta fit in my excessive amount of time I spend in the gym.

Some people say exercise relaxes them, but I dunno if working out all the time relaxes me so much as I enjoy the results of getting all that exercise. I’m always thinking when am I gonna get my workout in so that part’s not super relaxing.

Every day I’ve got this small little window of time between work and gym, and I force myself to chill in that window. Right now it’s winter in Wisconsin and fucking cold, so I get home from work, maybe I had to go to some store on my way home, I peel off all the hat, gloves, winter coat, boots, drop down whatever shopping bags I have, all that shit, get changed out of my work clothes, and I remind myself that yes, I am in fact at home and it’s quiet and warm and in this exact moment all I need to do is relax . It’s like a mini meditation. I take deep breaths, I pet one or more of our cats, I unwind, and then I get ready for the gym.

But that maybe half hour or whatever it is, I hold on to that for dear life. I must relax .

Nibbles > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:54

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Elder Scrolls soundtracks are an integral part of my "angry music" playlist :)

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 12:56

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I play video games like just cause 3, or fallout 4. It really helps take stress off.

luvMeSome142 & some Lincoln! > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 14:27

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wiffleballtony > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 15:12

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A combination of internalizing and over eating and video games. So I too need help.

wiffleballtony > Needmoargarage 01/13/2016 at 15:26

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Video games just delay the stress for me.

Matt Nichelson > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 16:47

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I think that would be a cool idea, but would be a pretty sizable undertaking since we are all spread out. My main thing is I pretty much stuck in the city I am in for a while due to buying a house and having a family. I would love to go back to be a call center supervisor, but those jobs are over an hour away. Just is what it is right now.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Matt Nichelson 01/13/2016 at 20:45

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I keep toying around with the idea of building the dream Oppo/Jalop website. But yeah, definitely a major undertaking.

As I’ve heard it said: you can’t change the cards you are dealt, but you can change how you play them. Sometimes you just have to slog through whatever it is.

Matt Nichelson > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/13/2016 at 21:56

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Well don’t let the dream die then. It can be done!

That’s so true. Definitely some words to live by.

pip bip - choose Corrour > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/14/2016 at 03:22

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a large rubber band on my wrist , snapping it when i feel stressed!